Total Frustration

Total frustration has set in for me tonight, so here I am being honest with you to help me get over it.

The practice until it is perfect is wearing me down and I'm not getting anywhere, thus the not writing in 2 days.  

Sadly, I am frustrated with the Shiva Paintstiks.  I can't imagine how they are going to look or how I am going to make them do what I want them to anymore.  I keep trying and keep thinking about it and these are where I am at right now and I do not like them at all.  (These flowers are pieced identical to the flowers on the quilt.)

I cannot find brushes that suit me and I don't like what the paint looks like on the fabric with patterns which is what I have used on the actual quilt. None of the brushes I have will give me the stroke I am looking to create and the Paintstiks don't go on like paint I am used to using when working on a painting on canvas or wood.

To be honest, I don't want to re-piece the yellow flowers just to use the Paintstiks. Right now, I feel like it looks like the flowers have been colored with a crayon and I am definitely not looking for that.  The look I'm trying to get with the Paintstiks would work better with a solid fabric or maybe this is what I keep telling myself.   

The point I am at tonight is to set the paintstiks to the side and wait and continue to gather more information. I'm beginning to feel myself becoming stagnant which is the last thing I want right now.  I am avoiding my sewing area by finding other things to do rather than sitting behind my table.  

I am eager to get to other projects - one for my mother and the many other ideas floating around in my head.  So, I am going to move on and get back to finishing the piecing on the last of the flowers which will form a heart over the lovers.  I'm going to stick with thread work and beads (which I am very comfortable with) to accomplish the shading I was hoping to get with the Paintstiks. I can be satisfied with this choice.  I am totally in love with the quilt as it is and I know I can get what I want with threads, fibers and beads so there is no reason to not keep practicing with the Paintstiks and use them at a later time on something else.  

I WILL get it or some other form of painting.  I haven't lost interest in using them, it just feels like I shouldn't use them on this quilt.  I've been reading about using thickeners in dyes to paint and I'm going to keep exploring fabric paints. For now, I'm going to set the Shiva Paintstiks to the side and put the frustration on the shelf. I know myself and I will not let go of my attachment to mastering them.

Have you used them and have some advice for me? Or maybe you have a suggestion for a different product.  I would love to hear it.

Tomorrow, back to piecing.  

And I breathe easier.