I just came in from a walk in the woods. Jason has gone to work and the kids are still sleeping.
While I was walking I was enjoying the brisk spring air and all the birdsong orchestra that is being sung in through out the woods.
Spring is so inviting.
Beckoning us to shed off the winter and rejoice in the creation.
And I had one of those great epiphany moments we often welcome and want.
I firmly believe when we are in tune with our mother planet and we follow our natural rhythms with her, then we awaken the same as she does and our cycles become more familiar and thankfully, gentler.
This has been a hard winter for me. I don't complain much. It's not in my nature, but a lot of powerful medicine has come my way over the winter and I have shed many many welcomed but hard tears.
I had a hysterectomy and welcomed a new birthing into optimal health, but in order to do that - I had to deal with the emotional problems that created the weak root chakra in the first place.
For me, root chakra medicine is the hardest medicine to swallow. It's where all my stories about my life originate and where my mental pictures began.
Some people are able to move forward without examining the past. I am not one of those people. I have to go back and examine it and see it from the perspective I have today. It is hard and exhausting work. To forgive and to let go of those stories and see them for what they have brought me today is often difficult. I want to kick and scream. I want to have temper tantrums. "I want my way RIGHT NOW!"
I want to stay stuck because stuck is comfortable - somehow.
In the fall, I made the choice to go there, so I have had to trudge and drag myself through the sloppiest of slops to get to other side and I am still not certain there aren't many more obstacles until I am fully rebirthed and healed and have rewritten those hurts and seen them in new light.
Birthing something is never easy, but I have welcomed it.
I started working on Yab Yum as I was entering this phase of my life.
Yab Yum is based on the story of creation in Hindu as well as Tibetan Buddhism. Shiva and Shakti come together the only way our physical forms can. Together they create the world. They share their ancient wisdoms with the one another. They love with pure and open hearts. They simply breathe in each others sacred breath. Through the breath the world is born. Through love, life is created.
The earth stirs and awakens.
It is a beautiful story.
With Jason, I am creating my world - constantly - always striving to be a better steward. Always striving to find more joy and less suffering.
Seeing it now with seasons in mind, it is no surprise to me now that I could not get those flowers right. I had not welcomed the Spring. I was stuck in the repetition of this new story about the winter of my life this year. I was becoming complacent in suffering and swallowing the medicine.
I was refusing to wake up and come out of my hibernation.
My work for this winter was done. There will be plenty more next winter.
When Spring hit me upside the head and shook me; I woke up and realized it is time for Spring in my spirit.
Winter is over.
I can take off my bear robes and run naked through the woods.
The flowers are made. I had a big creative surge and everything is sewn down.
I am almost there... (on every plane)
WE are almost there.
I don't know what the future holds for us, but I know whatever it is - it's going to be great because I'm with the best man I know.
TOGETHER we have created a wonderful and happy life.
It doesn't mean there aren't always obstacles to overcome in all the seasons of our lives. Even through them there is always room for gratitude and joy.
When the winters are hard we can always welcome Spring with open arms:
My story is rewriting itself.
On the technical side of things... I have hand work left with sewing some beads on in the flowers. Then a very small amount of quilting. Binding and figuring out how I'm going to hang it as a diamond -suggestions?
A couple more weeks, but it is so close to done I can almost taste it.